jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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