the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
do herpes really smell.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize