i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
