Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
