have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
