capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
