i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
A+ Viking dick
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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