So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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