the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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