I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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