god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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