At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
