4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
These tits shall not be calmed
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
