I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
wow bdsm is so cute
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
