She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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