She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
