return my video game
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
