You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
