Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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