Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
