I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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