i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
