That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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