How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize