I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
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Do I have a choice?
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Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize