i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
