i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
