and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
