I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
