It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
