Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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