I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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