i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
