Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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