We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
