okay pat passed out under dana's car
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
