We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
