apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
