That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
