I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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