plz talk dirty to me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We are two peas in an std pod
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
