Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
