how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
