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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This house was built for laser tag.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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