but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize