I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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