His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
