at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have already put on my inside pants.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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