Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize