There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
