Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
