You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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