You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we made out on top of his cat.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
