my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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