do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
