I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Randomize
