The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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