and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
