Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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