he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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