Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize