I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
