I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
