I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
