this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize