dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
