There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
